


Almost You

by LynFraser09



Series: Nightmares [2]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Reunion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-12
Updated: 2016-03-12
Packaged: 2018-05-26 07:25:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6229114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LynFraser09/pseuds/LynFraser09
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not too long after Canary Wharf, the Doctor finds an unexpected visitor in the TARDIS. But is it too good to be true?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Almost You

**Author's Note:**

> The second fic in the 'Nightmare' series. All works are unconnected and can be read as stand alone pieces.

The TARDIS was quiet for once. The Doctor and Martha Jones had just come back from a particularly tiring mission. (Tiring for Martha anyway, Time Lords didn’t get tired.) Martha went straight off to bed and instead of tinkering with the console of the TARDIS or various gadgets he’d been meaning to fix the Doctor opted for a rather quieter night in the library, re-reading some books.

 

He’d just gotten himself comfortable in one of the chairs, propping his feet up on a near by desk and cracking open a book when there was a loud crash from the console room.

 

He immediately was on his feet, tossing the book onto the desk and peering out into the hallway. “Martha?” He called in the direction of the console, wondering if his companion had wandered out sleepily and accidentally crashed into something.

 

He pursed his lips in thought when he got no response and swiftly made his way out of the library and towards the console room.

 

Upon entering, he squinted and looked around for any sign of his companion and called her name again. “Martha?”

 

He paced around the console, looking for anything out of the ordinary and his eyes widened when his gaze fell upon the cause of the noise.

 

There was a _person_ lying on the ground of the TARDIS, curled up in a little ball and shaking.

 

_“What?”_

 

He rubbed his eyes just to make sure he wasn’t seeing things and when his vision came to he still saw the person lying there. “Oh blimey, not again....” He muttered with a groan, thinking back to meeting Donna Noble in her wedding dress.

 

“How did you even get in here?” He asked the seemingly unconscious person still lying on the floor. He ran his fingers through his hair, letting out a puff of air through his lips and then slowly approached the person, freezing only when she moved.

 

She let out a little moan and the Doctor frowned at the familiarity of her voice. Her arms stretched out in front of her like a cat and she slowly rose to a sitting position and as she did, her blonde hair fell away from her face revealing her identity to the now shocked Doctor.

 

“No.” He whispered, his eyes wide as saucers.

 

The female grinned as soon as her eyes set on him and she leapt to her feet. “Doctor!”

 

He shook his head, his face clearly showing his disbelief. “No, no you can’t be here, its not-it can’t be...”

 

“Doctor,” She took a step forwards and he eyed her just a bit warily but still she kept on grinning, “It’s me, it’s Rose.”

 

“Rose.” He repeated, a shiver running through him as the name passed his lips. “How did you...?”

 

“I told you I’m working for Torchwood in that parallel world. I’ve been working hard trying to get back to you, and we found a way but I didn’t think it would work but I had to try. It worked though,” Her grin brightened as her eyes scanned the interior of the TARDIS, “I’m here. I’m really here.”

 

“But-but..” He stuttered, confused and he ran over to the TARDIS console, clicking buttons and furrowing his brow. “I don’t understand, it shouldn’t be possible, both universes should be collapsing.”  His eyes scanned the monitors looking for any signs of damage to the universe and at finding none, turned back to Rose with wide eyes who was simply smiling at him.

 

“How?”

 

Rose shrugged. “Does it really matter?”

 

“Of course it matters! It shouldn’t be possible!” He turned back to the console and started flicking more buttons.

 

“Doctor...” Rose’s voice was softer now and he paused, slowly turning to look at her. She was still smiling, but lighter now, and her eyes were shining with unshed tears.

 

That’s when it hit him. Rose was here. _Rose was here._

Forgetting about impossibilities, a grin, larger than anyone before it, spread across his face. He dropped his hands from the console, took one step towards her as she took one step towards him. Her smile widened into a grin and her eyes twinkled under the lights of the TARDIS.

 

Without one more second to lose, the Doctor jumped into a sprint, walking dangerously fast in the condensed space of the TARDIS and gathered Rose tightly into his arms. He buried his face into her neck, inhaling her scent and grinning madly. He rocked her back and forth, practically crushing her against his chest though she hardly seemed to mind since she was hugging him just as tightly. He only pulled back to look deep into her tear filled eyes and then with just a whisper of her name, he slammed his lips down onto hers. Rose squeaked a little against his lips but quickly responded, tightening her hold around his neck and kissing him back with just as much passion.

 

Her fingers tangled in his hair as the kiss continued, hot and heavy and full of all the passion and love they held for each other and didn’t get to express in the horrible months they spent apart.

 

They kissed until they could no longer breathe. Rose, because of her human lungs, and the Doctor, well simply kissing Rose managed to take even his breath away.

 

Their foreheads came to rest against each others for they could not bear being apart from each other even with their arms still tightly wound around the other.

 

He brushed his lips up against hers lightly a couple more time as she tried to catch her breath, he simply just could not get enough of Rose Tyler.

 

Finally they managed to pull away from each other, not all the way of course, his arms still remained around her waist and hers loosely hung around his neck, and they smiled at each other both of their eyes brimming with happy tears. “You’re here.” He whispered, beaming. “You’re really here.”

 

“I am.” She answered with a grin.

 

He let out a breath, shaking his head fondly. “My Rose, you always manage to do the impossible.”

 

Rose bit her lip, cocking her head to the side, her eyes twinkling in delight and amusement. “I’m your Rose now, am I?”

 

He pursed his lips. “Wellllll, my Rose as in my companion Rose, well, my _old_ companion and when I say old, I don’t mean _old_ old, you of course are always welcome with me. And when I say mine, you don’t have to be _mine_ you can be _a_ companion...”

 

She suddenly cut him off by covering his lips with hers. He barely had time to react before she pulled away, biting her lip, smirking at how he stood there just blinking at her.

 

“Doctor, I have been _yours_ since the first time you took my hand and told me to run.” She supplied, staring lovingly into his deep brown eyes.

 

A goofy grin spread across his face and he let out a little love struck laugh. “Yeah?”

 

“Of course.”

 

The Doctor’s grin faded into a more serious look as he raised his eyebrow, staring intensely into her eyes. “Then you should know Rose Tyler, I’ve been yours for that long as well.”

 

The first emotion to pass Rose’s face was surprise but it was quickly replaced by joy and love. She grinned happily, tightening her grip around his neck and squealing out of glee, buried her face into his neck. “I love you.” Her warm breath tickled the skin of his neck and for once he allowed himself to feel what he always denied when in the presence of Rose.

 

“Quite right too.” He answered back, echoing his words from that terrible day on Bad Wolf Bay. He felt Rose tense in his arms and to squash her sullen thoughts and memories he tightened his arms around her and buried his nose into her hair.

 

He closed his eyes, inhaling the scent of her shampoo, gently pressed his lips against the top of her head and then lowered his lips down to her ear. Whispering softly he finally replied, “I love you, Rose Tyler.”

 

A small gasp passed her lips and she whipped her head up so fast she nearly clocked him one. The grin on her face was so bright yet he could detect the slightest bit of question in her eyes. He’d said the words they both wanted to hear, he just needed to back them up. A million different thoughts ran through his head on how exactly to prove his love to Rose but that proved unnecessary as after just a few seconds of staring into his love glazed eyes, Rose seemed to just know and her grin brightened ( which he didn’t think was possible) and grabbed him in for another kiss.

 

Another thing he didn’t think was possible, that he was yet again proved wrong about, was that he didn’t think the kiss they shared just minutes before could possible be more passionate. Like he said, he was wrong. The force, the power and the love behind the kiss they shared now almost literally stopped his two hearts. It felt like he couldn’t breathe or move for a very brief split second, the instant his lips collided with hers, then his hearts started pounding wildly in his chest.

 

He couldn’t help but grin against her mouth, he was happy, hell he was more than happy, he was ecstatic. He had his Rose back in his arms, he was finally able to admit his feelings for her not only to himself but to her as well. Everything was out in the open and as it should be.

 

Suddenly the doors of the TARDIS slammed open with a loud crack. The couple jumped apart, panting heavily from their kiss, and stared wide eyed at the bright light emitting from outside the TARDIS.

 

“What?” The Doctor cried, furrowing his brow, and letting go of Rose, made his way over to the console. He shook his head back and forth furiously as he tried to figure out what was happening.

 

“Doctor?” Rose called out to him in question.

 

He lifted his head and met her eyes across the way, knowing the uncertainty and fear in her eyes was reflected in his own. A determined look crossed his face, he would _not_ let Rose down, not again. Hardening his gaze, he poured all his concentration onto finding the solution for whatever the problem was.

 

“Doctor!” He snapped up his head at the sound of Rose’s alarmed voice. She was now pressed up against the console, staring at the bright light that was slowly filtering in through the open doorway.

 

He gritted his teeth and practically growled at the unknown threat entering his TARDIS and frightening his Rose, and stalked over to it. He reached out his hands toward it but once his finger tips reached the exterior, he had to withdraw his hand immediately from the burning sensation with a hiss.

 

“What is it?” Rose asked, still pressed up against the console.

 

“I don’t know.” He growled, narrowing his eyes at it. He quickly spun on his heels and ran back over to her, grabbing her hand and pulling her to the other side of the console. “Don’t move.” He instructed and for once she obeyed with only a silent nod.

 

He started moving all around the console, pressing different buttons, observing the readings on the monitors and shaking his head, trying to make sense of it.

 

“Doctor...”

 

“Don’t worry, Rose. I’ll figure this out.”

 

“Doctor!” Rose’s voice was a little more panicked and it instantly caught his attention. He looked over to her and saw her staring, horrified down at the floor. His brow furrowed  and looked down at his own feet and out of the corner of his eye he saw the light, like a cloud of smoke, passing him around the console. His eyes widened and he followed it to where it made a puddle around Rose’s feet.

 

At once they locked eyes and for a long moment they both stood there, panic and dread  seizing their hearts. Then with another growl the Doctor reached forward and wrapped his arms tightly around Rose’s middle trying to pull her away from the light now climbing up her legs.

 

Whatever it was was stubborn and pulled Rose in the opposite direction. His grip on her tightened and try as he may he proved to not be strong enough and the light pulled him skidding across the TARDIS floor.

 

They got to the other side of the console, nearing the front doors when the light made its way in between the Doctor and Rose, pulling them apart and sending the Doctor flying to the ground.

 

“Doctor!” Rose’s helpless cry reached his ears and he was immediately on his feet, his eyes wide with panic, his chest heaving sharply as he saw Rose being devoured by the light.

 

“No!” He cried and leaped forward grabbing onto her hand that was reaching out for him. “Rose!”

 

He gripped onto her hand with both of his, squeezing with all his might, and tried to pull her away from the light. But with every passing second he could feel her hand slipping out of his and he could do nothing about it.

 

“Rose, hold on!” He let go with one hand only to grab onto her wrist. He planted his feet firmly onto the ground and locked his eyes with hers. She was frightened, she was lost, and by God he was not about to lose her again.

 

Every muscle in his body strained as he fought against this thing but he could not give up.

 

He felt Rose’s other hand grab onto his own wrist and she tried to use it to climb back to  him. Slowly but surely they pulled Rose from the light and back into the TARDIS, both of them shaking from the effort.

 

However just as Rose’s torso made it out, the Doctor lost his footing and in the split second that it took for him to re-find it, Rose slipped back in with a scream.

 

“No!” He cried as he began to be pulled towards the light. He could hear her muffled cries of his name and his hands shook as he tried to pull on her hand that little by little was slipping out of his grasp.

 

Then with a strangled cry, the Doctor felt the force of the light suck her in, and her hand slipped out of his and disappeared into the light. The light remained for a second or two more before disappearing, slamming the TARDIS’ doors closed in its leave.

 

The Doctor was left standing there, panting, his arms still outstretched, his eyes wide with panic and fear. “No.” He whispered and without even realizing it ran forward and slammed into the TARDIS’ doors. “Rose!” He slammed on the wood and then roughly grabbed the handles and pulled the doors open only to be met with the black and darkness of space. “No. No!” He slammed the doors closed, and reopened them, repeating the process hoping this was all some sort of sick joke and Rose would be waiting outside on the streets of London outside the Powell Estate, with a grin and her tongue between her teeth.

 

He slammed the doors closed one final time and whimpered, smacking his head down hard against the doors.

 

He barely had time to mourn though because suddenly the TARDIS started to shake and her lights started flickering. He spun around to face the console and watched in horror as his TARDIS went on the fritz.

 

He sprinted over to the console and tried everything, every combination he knew how, yet nothing seemed to be working. “No! No, no, no, no, no, no!” He cried over and over again as he fiddled and pressed and sonic’ed.

 

The TARDIS suddenly gave a violent lurch and the Doctor was sent flying forward into the console. He groaned and slammed his fist down onto it. “What the bloody hell is going on?!”

 

He yelped when one part of the console suddenly let out a bunch of sparks and the lights started to flicker more rapidly. He ran over to that side of the console, pushing the smoke away from his face with his hand and stared down at his beloved time machine in hopeless confusion.

 

He ran his fingers through his hair and gripped at it, his nails digging into his scalp. He kicked the air in frustration and anger.

 

Another area of the console sparked furiously and just as he was about to run over there the TARDIS lurched again and sent him flying forward. He closed his eyes preparing himself for impact with the ground...

A rush of air filled his lungs as he sprang forward and his eyes opened. He was breathing heavily and his hearts were beating faster than he ever remembered them. Looking around he found himself not in the frenzied console room of the TARDIS but a dark, quiet room somewhere else on his ship.

 

He gently sunk back down onto the bed, trying to calm himself down. Though once he pulled the pink blanket up to his chin he sprang up again, realizing exactly where he was.

 

He propped himself up on his knees and looked around Rose Tyler’s old room. The thought made his hearts clench painfully and quite uncharacteristically of him, he pulled Rose’s pillow up to his chest and buried his face in it.

 

He breathed in the faint scent that still loomed on her pillow. His throat tightened and he held back a sob that threatened to escape him at the combined memories of losing her at Canary Wharf and the more recent, much more vivid memories of his nightmare.

 

He had tried to forget, it hurt too much to think about leaving Rose in that parallel world, seeing the tears streaking down her face and even though he was a whole universe away, hearing her heart shattering sobs echoing in his ears.

 

No matter how hard he tried though there was always something that reminded him of his Rose. A certain race of aliens that he longed to tell her all about, a certain planet he longed to show her and more often than not he’d turn to Martha Jones, expecting to see Rose’s bright golden hair and hear her witty response to something he’d said and managed to hide his slight dissapointment at seeing Martha. He knew that wasn’t fair because he liked Martha Jones, he only traveled with the best after all, but the pain of losing Rose was still so fresh in his mind, and no one, no matter how brilliant they were, could ever replace the place Rose held in his hearts.

 

He didn’t even remember how he’d gotten into Rose’s room to be honest. He usually avoided it, asked the TARDIS to hide it from him, because the first time he’d been in there since she left, shortly after he saved Donna Noble, he curled up on her bed like he was doing now and _cried_. He promised himself he would not let it affect him so badly but after working with Donna and seeing how different she was from Rose, made him miss her even more, and by the time he reached the empty, quiet TARDIS with no sign of Rose there to come out and hug him, the loss of her really hit him. He wasn’t aware up until that point how much Rose really meant to him.

 

He always knew Rose was more than just another companion, his ninth regeneration came back for her, even after just meeting her he knew he’d be lost without her. His ninth regeneration is what started falling in love with her, although he’d never admit it, and so his tenth regeneration was automatically attracted to her from his beginning and he only fell for her harder and stronger with each passing day. Still, he refused to admit to himself that he was in love with her, because a Time Lord falling in love with a human was highly unlikely, and he knew that one day he’d be losing her. He figured if he didn’t get too attached to her the pain would be less when she was gone. However when he actually did lose her nothing could lessen the pain he felt. Whether he admitted it to himself or not he was in love with Rose Tyler and losing her was almost as painful as his memories of the Time War and Gallifrey.

 

Just then there was a quiet knock on the door, followed then by an even quieter, “Doctor?”

 

He snapped his head up and looked at the door silently. With a sigh, he placed the pillow neatly back in its spot and crawled to the edge of the bed.

 

He went to run his hands over his face and as he did he found his cheeks to be soaked with tears. He quickly wiped all the wetness from his face and eyes, pulling up the collar on his coat to hide the tear stains on his neck.

 

Shaking his head and letting out a breath he rose from the bed and slowly approached the door. He paused, just staring at the doorknob for a few seconds, giving him a little time to compose himself, and then he pulled the door open.

 

“Martha Jones,” He greeted with an exceptionally fake grin, “What are you doing awake at this hour?”

 

Martha’s brow was furrowed in concern and a frown marred her features. “Doctor, you...you were screaming.”

 

His smile faltered and he swallowed over the thickness in his throat. “Was I?” He shrugged nonchalantly, forcing the smile back onto his face. “Then I apologize for waking you, why don’t you head on back to bed, Martha? We’ve got a brand new day of adventures to look forward to tomorrow!” He grinned, though it scarcely reached his eyes, and looked hardly believable. He shut the door behind him as he walked out past Martha and headed back towards the console room.

 

“Doctor?” Martha called out to him and he froze, his whole body tensing, knowing what she was going to ask. “Are you alright?”

 

He stared at the ground for the longest time in silence, then he smiled sadly to himself and forced a look over his shoulder, smiling reassuringly at his companion. “I’m fine.”

 

She looked skeptical but he knew she could tell he didn’t want to talk about it which he was grateful for. He gave her a simple nod and bid her a good night before walking slowly towards the console room.

 

He paused in the doorway and surveyed the quiet, calm area. He took a long look at the doors where just a few minutes ago, in his nightmare, his Rose was taken from him. It was just a nightmare though, his Rose was taken him from long ago back at Canary Wharf.

 

He slowly approached the console and placed his hands gently across it, feeling her buzz and hearing her hum all around him. He closed his eyes tightly and bowed his head resting it lightly against her. “Why did you let me fall asleep?” He asked, his voice shaking. “And in her room?”

 

The TARDIS continued to hum comfortingly around him and as a single tear rolled down his cheek, he knew, despite what he told Martha Jones, that he was anything but fine.


End file.
